Care or Harm?

One morning Forall’s mother, Judy, came to the monastery to attend a funeral service of a dear friend in the Quaker meeting society that had a significant impact on her family. At 5:00am, the service began and she was asked to rise out of her seat and come to the altar in the Zendo to share some words about this man’s life. Her small body stood with a striking presence in silence for some time before beginning her expression. First she then Forall spoke. It was clear where Forall had gotten many of his admirable qualities from.

It also happened to be Judy’s birthday that morning. For breakfast, Forall decided to make her pancakes in the shape of “Happy Birthday Mom”, with ingredients suited for her limited diet. It was quite endearing. It was a talking meal, out of the ordinary from our usual silent breakfasts, and we had the opportunity to share gratitudes with Judy.

Ananda shared that he was impacted by a teaching she had given which we had heard through Forall. The lesson was that usually we think that we are being helpful if the person we are trying to help acknowledges that they are being helped. But instead, it is often the case that the people we care for the most are the least capable of seeing that.

She skillfully offered a personal example, but it seemed clear that she was alluding to the challenges that our community has been facing over the years. Challenges where community members that we give great attention and care to are the very ones who most hate Forall and try to destroy our community.