Roasting Ryan

On one of my first visits to Maple, there was an apprentice named Ryan. I was coming as part of a group taking a training led by a different organization that was hosted at Maple. Ryan was enthusiastically connecting with all the guests, getting to know us and sharing his views on deep philosophical and existential quandaries. And oh did he have views to share. I distinctly recall him giving a dialectic in the loft to me and another guest on why one should not have children unless they are enlightened, his own parents having tragically fallen just short of this bar. After a few days, it seemed likely to me that he was so enthusiastic to connect with the guests perhaps because he had exhausted the listening resources of the community. Still, he obviously had incredible qualities of helpfulness and kindness.

At the end of the week I found out that he was at the end of his apprenticeship and would be leaving the community. At lunch on that day we were sitting together at the friendship table while the rest of the community sat for the formal meal ceremony at tables in the hall a few feet away. At the end of the meal Soryu stood up and started speaking about Ryan. He said that Ryan was loud and talked a lot, and pretty annoying. I was curdling inside with the awkwardness of sitting next to the man who was seemingly being criticized in front of everyone on his way out the door. At the end of the speech, Soryu explained in reference to all he had just said, “This whole community has a lot to learn from Ryan. We could use some of what he has.”

I was surprised the speech took this turn, not knowing much about the community, I could only guess at what Soryu meant. The speech and meal ended and Ryan turned to me, absolutely glowing, and said, “Wow! I just got roasted by Soryu for seven minutes.”